It is amazing how many couples look into the legal marriage requirements but give little thought to what the requirements for a loving and successful marriage might be. Good intentions are certainly not enough.   People seem to focus on the wedding ceremony without giving any time and thought to whether the person they are marrying is the right one for them. It is so easy to get caught up in the romance of the occasion and to forget that while your wedding day is a big event, it is the start of something so much bigger. 

Getting married is a commitment and should be treated as such.  Deep reflection and careful evaluation by both people should precede the marriage.

The sad fact is that no one walks away from a broken marriage without incurring pain and scarring.  Unwinding a long term relationship is difficult; ending a marriage is much, much worse. 

So what can you do to prevent landing in a similar situation? An excellent first step is to be aware of each other’s core values and attitudes toward life before you promise to spend your life together. It surprises me that people often have relatively limited knowledge about the values of the person they’re considering marrying. A very helpful way to deepen communication and make your relationship closer is 1000 Questions for Couples. It’s well worth checking out.

 

It also helps to accept even before you get married that every marriage will face difficulties.  While it is fantastic to have your marriage partner as your best friend, they cannot supply you with everything you need. You have to a happy individual in your own right or you will make both of you miserable.  You need to have some degree of independence even though you are part of a couple. You need to show your partner love, respect and loyalty while still giving them and expecting them to give you the freedom to have a life of your own. Your relationship will be much more successful if everyone involved has room to develop and breathe. 

If you have kids you still need to make your relationship a priority. Children certainly do need time and attention, but you should do it together and also know you need love and support yourself.

You can also learn a lot from Internet courses. I highly recommend that you take a look at Save My Marriage Today to find out more about an excellent marriage-saving program. Even though it’s designed to help a marriage that’s already having problems, if you apply what this course teaches you can prevent your marriage from getting into trouble in the first place.

You need to do things as a couple and spend quality time together. Like a beautiful garden, a loving relationship thrives with some attention.  Romantic gestures are always appreciated, and sometimes even more so when there’s no special reason.

There are also certain psychological triggers that you can use to maintain a deep connection with your spouse. Second Chance Romance is a relationship system that teaches just such triggers.

Perhaps the main marriage requirement is a commitment to develop both personally and as a couple in such a way that the love and respect and desire you have to be together on your wedding day only grows over time.