So often people have been in this sort of situation – ‘I genuinely want to find somebody – I’ll try online – that seems simple!’, but when they go and start their search, they fall into some major pitfalls!

Right from the spot you register your details online, you are essentially promoting yourself!

Everything you compose, the way your photo appears and any video or sound clips are giving away loads of messages that people are often un conscious of.

Quite frequently I’ve been shown clips from people I’ve coached which seem to give the hidden communication ‘I’m desperate!’. Naturally this isn’t what they say , but it’s what comes across.

So here are some strategies to help you be successful in the online dating game. Some of these come from keys in NLP.

1: Be happy with you before looking for someone else

A lot of people start looking for someone to make THEM happy . The most successful people in the dating game are those who are content with themselves before getting involved with someone else. When we look for someone else to make us happy, but are completely not happy inside, this gets unwittingly projected onto other people and they pick up mixed messages in our communicating.

2: Be confident in you – acknowledge what you are brilliant at and enjoy doing

Confident people glitter charisma. Some people mull over that we are born with charisma, but it truly is a thing that will be developed.

There are lots of ways to build confidence – one way is to regularly take time to recognise your brilliant features , abilities and qualities. Frequently we dismiss the excellent things we do and don’t take the time to build our own courage . Frequently when I coach people seeking hypnotherapy in London to help build their confidence , they come in totally lacking courage and will totally transmute their lives within a short space of time when they build their resourcefulness. Take up a sport, get fit, get some hypnotherapy, go on an NLP training or take up public speaking classes – there are lots of ways to build courage , but you need to get out there and do it!

3: Draft out your profile before it goes live

Draft out your profile and show it together with your photograph to a few people whose opinion you trust before letting it go ‘live’. Ask them what their initial impressions are and what advice they might give you about what might be changed to attract the sort of person you   wish .

4: Be flexible! Don’t be too limited in your choice of the other person !

I have a mate who had such strict criteria as ‘he must have 2 degrees, be hunky and sensitive’ and even would only settle for certain hair colour. She is still looking 5 years on ! Know the   features that are most crucial to you in another person and make sure your profile attracts this sort of person. But at the same time, make sure you’re not too limited in your criteria for finding someone else.

5: Build rapport

We tend to like those people who are most like us. So when initially meeting another person completely take an interest in them. centre on finding out about them rather than just communicate ing them about you. Follow these steps and you’ll be well on your way to a good relationship!