Okay, so this jerk dumped you and all your friends have been hounding you to get back in the game.  Naturally, after your shock and grief begin to die down you decide to try your hand at internet dating.  Since your ended relationship lasted a couple years you recognize that you are really out of step with what has been happening in the world of internet dating. 

Still, you take your friends’ advice and get their input on some good sites.   You signup and are quickly drawn into the planned and choreographed world of cool and slick elements that get you to become involved and actively participating.  You start getting a host of unsolicited email messages announcing the latest hunks that have joined and are now dangling before you – fresh and ripe for the picking.  Then you read about the woman who, after a great first internet date was taken to the guy’s apartment whereupon she was beaten, raped and killed.   This, sadly, is not a made up story.  It happens in this country every year.  Clearly, this woman failed on multiple points of internet safety.

If you are serious about internet dating you need to recognize both its potentials and its risks.   The reason that this often slips below the average woman’s radar is its very nature.  Internet dating allows an extremely rapid and drilled-down access to men with the right age, education, looks, career and family orientation that it takes to get a woman’s attention.  Secondly, the speed of its delivery of details, contact information, and introduction facilitation, often cause the progression to happen more quickly than most women would typically allow.  The result is an over-represented, over-qualified, and decidedly interested guy that you know absolutely nothing about.  What is a woman to do?  Drop out?  No.  She, if she wants to continue, survive and prevail in internet dating, needs to become an informed, actively wary, and controlled internet dater.  Here’s how.

First of all, establish rules for yourself that you are unwilling to violate.  Like no sex on the first date you should define a Never/Never List and stick to it.  This as well as your natural feminine radar will get you through and reap the benefits of internet dating without sustaining its possible, negative effects or outcome.  Here is a great starter Never/Never List.

1.  Never use your real name – including your first name – in any profile or subsequent communiqué.

2.  Never enter your actual city name.  Rather use one that is nearby and easily explained as signup error should you need to explain.

3.  Never show a close-up photo.  Present instead a more distant but figure-revealing full-body shot that shows who you are but does not provide a conclusive identity that can be attached to you.

4.  Never give out a phone number, address or full-name identity until you have satisfied yourself that a contact is safe.

5.  Finally, never meet someone anywhere except a public place for the first three dates and always drive your own car to and from that location.

If you are really trying to get ex back from a breakup or if you are planning to win your ex back, by creating a little jealousy, a thorough understanding of these internet dating caveats will protect you and help to get your ex back.