If your relationship is in need of attention or change you may find that you are the only one that is focused on dealing with it.   In other words, there are no outward signs that your partner is feeling what you are feeling or that they are in the same relationship ‘space’ as you.  So, you may be wondering if it is possible for you to singlehandedly effect the necessary changes in your relationship.   Can one of the partners correct an errant duet when most of the time there are challenges on the part of both parties?

While, yes, it is possible to initiate change it is necessary for you to accept the limitations of such an initiative.   It is true that one person can initiate the changes that are necessary and start the process rolling.   However, it is almost impossible for one person to singlehandedly alter a relationship.   If you accept this fact and you are willing to accept its limitations, the proceed.   This by itself may enable you to get your ex back.

Oftentimes people find that if one person attempts to initiate change it can often produce dramatically good results.   Sometime what couples find in this one-sided initiative is that both parties were feeling the same but neither had initiated change.   So, clearly there are built-in benefits or the strong possibility of them in even trying.  Again, this can be a godsend it you are trying to get ex back.

Initiating change means that you must first inventory your relationship and determine exactly where the two of you are.   This process, in and of itself, is a challenge for many people.  Quite often the parties in a relationship have dramatically variant opinions of where the relationship actually stands.    This can be a revelation in itself.   Relationship experts agree that disparate perspectives on a relationship will often yield the possibility of quick improvement.

Working on your relationship by yourself will often mean working on yourself.  While you cannot change the other party, you can change yourself.   This means that you can start taking an inventory of the changes that your partner would like and begin to work – if only superficially – on them.   If you can begin to engineer changes in yourself, that alone will often engage the other party to participate in this process of relationship reform.

These are the kinds of techniques that can be of extreme value if you are attempting to salvage a highly damaged relationship or if you are trying to get your ex back

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