admin on December 6th, 2011


Nervous Around Women? Here are Four Keys to Overcoming Your Nervous-ness Around Women

By John Alexander


Standing at the magazine rack thumbing through Cosmo, she has the most gorgeous face you’ve ever seen. Her hair is silky brown. Her skin looks so radiant and so incredibly soft. You would be on top of the world if you could pick her this girl up.

You feel the fear deep in your gut. You feel nervous around women and this could lead to body language mistake.

You know that even if you got your balls in gear and went for it, you wouldn’t know what to say. You feel so nervous and fumbly that you would reject yourself if you were her. So you shy away from even approaching her in the first place.

Does this situation sound familiar? Do you feel shy and nervous around women? If so, keep reading.

The following are some dating tips for shy guys.

The first thing for you to realize is that all guys get anxiety about approaching women,  they all feel nervous around women. I know I certainly do.

But what separates you (and me) from the rest of the guys is…

What You Do About Your Fear or Being nervous around women.

Most guys let fear paralyze them… not just about chicks, but about other things in their life like their career… which is why, unfortunately, most guys will never find the success they want.

Dating Tips for Shy Guys

Nervous Around Women

First, look at where your fear comes from. The problem is inside of you. It’s not with the chicks. And being nervous around women is not the alpha male characteristics in dating.

If you’re thinking about rejection, then that means you’re making your approaches with a certain outcome in mind. (I’m just guessing, but I think if you’re like most guys, your goal is getting chicks attracted to you so that you can get laid.)

Try this instead… approach without having any expectations. No goals.

Let me tell you about a problem I used to have. I’m inclined to be an introvert, as I discuss in my book , “How to Become an Alpha Male“.

So to overcome my shyness, I would force myself to chat up everybody, no matter who they were… hot girls, ugly girls, fat girls, old people, men, people walking dogs, etc.

I would talk about neutral topics with them, nothing to do with picking up chicks.
The net result from all of that was I became really good at approaching people.

After that, however, I made a mistake. I said to myself, “Since I’m so good at approaching people and have become an outgoing person, why am I wasting time talking to anyone other than hot chicks?”

So then I limited the people I talked to… and my anxiety about talking to random women swept over me once again. It was as if I’d never had all that practice chatting up strangers in the first place.

At that point I realized it was because I was outcome-dependent. Because I had thoughts like “I’m going to try to lay this chick” in my mind… before I’d even opened my mouth to say “hi”… and so I would crash and burn. It sucked.

Here’s something I want you to try. Whenever you go out, talk to three people, but do it just for practice. Don’t do it for real.
Because it’s just for practice, don’t limit yourself to just talking to hot women. In general, I’ve found that elderly people (both males and females) and fat women are easy to talk to.
If it helps, set up a time limit for your practice interactions, like that you’ll talk to the person for 30 seconds and then you’ll get out of the conversation. (Say something like, “Well, I’m on my way to meeting a friend. Good chatting with you.” And then walk away without making a big deal of it.)

Once you’ve done your practices and feel warmed up, then you can chat up hot chicks. Again though, do it without having any sort of sex-related outcome in mind. Then you will feel less nervous around women.

For example, if a chick passes by you in a hallway, just say, “Hey, I need a quick female opinion on something.” (Then ask about something that you genuinely want a female opinion on.)

Remember though: have no outcome in mind. So it doesn’t matter if the chick responds rudely.

In fact, when you reach a point that you’ve chatted up lots of women, you’ll find that eventually rude responses on their part mean nothing. You’ll have an attitude of “ha, how original… I’ve had tons of women give me that exact same ‘clever’ rude comment.”

I’ve been rejected hideously, time and time again. One chick screamed “Go away!” at me before I could even get out my initial sentence.

Another time I thought it was amusing when I approached a group of two girls, just for practice, and right after I said “hey,” they both turned their backs on me in unison, as if they were synchronized dancers!

Now I just look back on all of that and laugh.

My point is that the more you approach, the more you’ll reach a level where you notice that most people act in the same, predictable ways. It’ll bore you rather than cause you anxiety or nervous around women.

Think of it as trying to build a house. You put down one brick at a time and cement it. Brick, cement. Brick, cement. It’ll take a long time, but eventually, the walls will be up (which means you’ve finished the toughest part of the job).

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To get a bit more psychological, there’s really no such thing as “being nervous around women.” You don’t “get nervous,” like it’s some kind of flu virus that invades your body.

All feelings of nervousness come from within. You have a certain series of thought processes that you go through before you become nervous. You say things to yourself. (When you think thoughts like, “I would reject myself,” it sets you up for failure!) You picture the chicks rejecting you. You feel tense in your body. And so on.

So what you can do to break this is to identify it for what it is and this is  very basic in dating tips for shy guys .

Notice your negative thoughts and change them. Instead of thinking, “Oh my God, this chick is going to act like a bitch to me because I fumble my words”… think, “It’s awesome that I’m making this approach, because if this chick rejects me, that means I’ve gotten her out of the way and I’m one step closer to finding my dream girl.”

Notice where you feel tense in your body, and then let your muscles relax in those areas. For me, I feel tense in my jaw and face when I’m nervous. So when I relax my jaw and facial muscles, it alleviates a lot of my tension.
Remember, being nervous around women is not the alpha male characteristics in dating.

I’ll wrap it up for you by concluding with this advice:

1) Be social for the sake of being social. Nothing else.

2) Remember that the only way to get over your fear is by doing the thing you fear. The more you do it, the easier it gets, because your attitude about the experiences will become, “Been there, done that, it’s no big deal.”

3) Recognize your bad thoughts and force yourself to replace them with good ones.

4) Ease the physical tension you have in your body when you feel nervous.

Another way you can avoid being nervous around women is to simply have it in your head that you are a very confident guy who is good with women. Ever heard the term “fake it till you make it?” This definitely applies in this case. If you change your body language, you will instantly feel better about yourself, and in turn, you will be more confident, which will result in more women coming up to you first and wanting to get to know you.

Download and Review for FREE the book “How to Become an Alpha Male”  by John Alexander to reveal and learn the secret thoroughly and quickly how to eliminate nervousness around women and build confidence with women. You will be amazed with the results. 

Please also check out another must-read book “Supreme Self-Confidencefocusing just on how to remove fear and nervousness in meeting with a new girl you are attracted to, or click the banner below.

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admin on December 3rd, 2011


Maintain Long Distance Relationship Advice


The most challenging love to fall for is long distance love. Romantic relationships are hard work, but when you add distance between the two of you it can turn out to be even more complicated and at a high risk to fail. Then a question may arise: do long distance relationships work?

A lot of folks believe that long distance relationships always fail. On the other hand, long distance relationships are fairly prevalent nowadays as the web brings people together from all over the world.

Long distance romances can function. They just require just a little extra effort and some planning. What many men and women don’t recognize is there are many advantages to being in a long distance romance.

Now the question is how to make a long distance relationship work?

The reality is, long distance relationships, like all relationships come in several shapes and sizes. Long distance romances involve two people who share an interest in one another’s lives, care for each other and of course have a love for one another that they hope will only keep growing.

do long distance relationships work

Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

Conversely, to maintain long distance relationship would demand a special willingness and understanding that can test love like no other type of relationship can. It demands constant communication along with a desire to continually develop your relationship, making use of the only real tool you’ve got, your words.

The most difficult thing to deal with in a long distance romance will be the most obvious thing: the distance. Here are a few tips to endure the long distance: engage in cards or games over the web or watch a movie “together” by renting the exact same movie, start at the same time while chatting on the phone, make gifts for one another, generate a list of things to do together, send a lot of cards and e-cards.

This tips will definitely help make your relationship do work. One of the primary keys to success in making a long distance relationship work is good communication. It’s important for both persons to feel that they’re an active component of the others’ life.

No relationship will last without communication. The advice is to pick up the phone each day and chat with your partner for fifteen minutes, at least. Of course the communication should be based on mutual trust, never cheat.

Trusting the individual at the other end of a long distance relationship can be challenging. Individuals usually have a tough time believing the words that are passed along during phone conversations if they can’t really see the source, or unless they genuinely trust the source.

Without having trust and honesty, the relationship is in danger just as it could be any other intimate relationship. By accepting the process of a long distance relationship, you likewise accepted the fact that you will need to have the trust and hope that your partner won’t be seeing anybody else as promised.

Another advice is exchanging photo. Photos are extremely important. Since you two cannot be together physically, photos will need to work. Take some interesting photos of yourself and send them, sealed with a kiss, to your sweetie.

Also, to keep your magic love alive, plan a visit. Promise that you’ll visit her and keep that promise. This makes her feel happy. There are days when you feel lonely. There are occasions when you long for a touch instead of a call.

Still, your bond endures. Regardless if separated by an ocean or an outlook, the smallest distance between 2 hearts, it is said, is love.

Both you and your sweetheart will one day have a close proximity relationship in the future. In the mean time, the above advice should be an excellent remedy to the distance between the two of you and to maintain your long distance relationships.

Any free online dating site would be an excellent resource for details on ways to be creative with your love.

Related articles:
Simple Guidelines To Maintain A Healthy Relationship
Simple Tips on How to Save Your Relationship

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