Millions of people in our country – worldwide perhaps a billion – are in danger of losing their marriage.  Not counting those who, for reasons for continued infidelity or physical abuse, actually want it to happen there are many if not most who would do anything to prevent losing their mate.  This is not a veiled reference to those people – primarily women who feel that they need a ‘date’ on holidays; or men who need someone to care for their lives (cooking, cleaning).  What we are talking about here are the majority of loving couples who find their marriage falling apart – like sifting sand through their fingers.  These are the great majority of divorce-headed couples who are desperately seeking help and advice.  It also includes those who have separated and are truly trying to get your ex back.

So, what are the typical or most prevalent causes of divorce – at least in America?  Like most things that involve either qualification or classification regarding both men and women or duets thereof, it requires a segregate set of specification.  The genders often see things differently and this is definitely true for this subject.   So, let us begin with men initially because their issues are the easier to deal with.

Men typically distance themselves, at least initially, in both a physical sense – not around as much – and a psychological sense – disconnected psychologically, for reasons that are remarkably similar.  Men tend to drift away when they feel over-controlled and/or over-managed.  This is the kind of detailed over-involvement that is typically referred to as nagging.   Note:  this is not to suggest that such involvement on their spouse’s part is unnecessary.  Quite the contrary.  Most family counselors are often quoted as hearing the males in their client couple acknowledge that he ‘needed it’.   The issue, then, is how best for women to achieve it.

Women reflect an even greater instance of similarity with regard to their reasoning – whether consciously or not – for drifting.   That key element is emotional support.  Women most often distance themselves – usually unconsciously – from their mate when they feel that their emotional needs are not being met.  That does not mean that they cheat – though some do – they just drift apart.   It means that the felt lack of emotional support is, itself so hurtful as to often destroy their love for their mate.

If you are attempting to get ex back or are planning on a strategy to win your ex back this perspective may be key to understanding how.